It's Complicated ...

Yep, it's complicated. In my experience, even the simplest of relationships is pretty complicated. I changed my facebook status to "it's complicated," to which Facebook announced to all my friends that "Shawn is now in a complicated relationship." Brilliant. I was already in a complicated relationship I wasn't talking all that much about. I just now decided to mention it. The announcement doesn't say anything about the previous state, since I had not said anything before. So it sounds like I am starting a new relationship.

The choices for relationships in facebook are it's complicated, married, in a relationship, single, widowed, engaged, in an open relationship, and the additional option of no statement at all (imagine the movie title for that one).

How often does one enter a relationship with a status of it's complicated. Not very often ... I am thinking. Sometimes, but I submit that rarely "it's complicated" is the first choice in a new relationship. The truth though, is that none of the status descriptions listed above are suitable for any relationship that I am in. It's intersting that there are 5 ways to describe a "committed" romantic relationship, and just two kinds of single. Clearly there's a bias towards affairs of the heart, so I'll stick to those.

I find the number of choices to be less than effective at describing the status of a relationship. I would prefer ad-hoc text to allow me to describe my relationship, but short of that it would be easy enough to expand the list. Here's a list of suggestions (Shawn is in a(n) ______ relationship(s)):

Attractive
Dating
Ecstatic
Unbelievable
Fucked Up
Mind Blowing
More Than One
Many
Comfortable
Dangerous
Confused
Gay
Bromantic
Romantic
Late-Night
Co-Dependent
Esoteric
Secret
Fun
Unrequited
OMG
Sex-Only
Celibate
Seductive
Sabotaged
Tempting
Illicit
Contemptuous
Monogamous
Weekend
Vacation
Scrape the Skin Off the Ceiling
...

This list could go on for a while. Since we live in a place where serial monogamy is more than common, I'd like to toy with the steps a relationship might follow towards it's inevitable failure. I'm Interested, Tempting, Dating, Secret, Hot, Ecstatic, Comfortable, Irritating ... did I mention Boring ... then suddenly, It's Complicated. Do you see where this is going? It's complicated might be used when you're sleeping with your boss, or dating your ex, who's actually married to one of your friends, or whenever it's convenient not to try to clarify what's actually happening, but rather, to just put everyone off. Ummm ... "I'm not telling."

When I first looked (some time ago) at the list, I said ... I don't really like to define myself as single, I'm not really in a relationship ... so exclude the info from the profile. Later ... I decided not to share anyting about any relationship I was in. Not all that complicated, but ... there's not so much to talk about.

Right now, it's complicated. I think it's going to get uncomplicated soon.