The 49th State

SO -- there was a point in my life when it dawned on me that I had traveled in 44 states. That's right. 44. I had actually been in 44 states. It was easy to list the missing states. Georgia, the Carolinas, Louisiana, Alaska and Hawaii.

And I devised a plan. To go to all 50 states by the time I was 50. After that I would see if I could get laid in each of the 50 states. But for now it's just enough to go there. So I started rolling the idea of Alaska around in my mind. Alaska.

And I started to collect the stuff I would need to go there.

A truck. Not any truck, a tough truck, a Kurdish tank. 4WD, raised, tough, and with a 50 caliber machine gun camera mounted on top. One that lives through floods, potholes, hurricanes, snowstorms, etc.

A bicycle. In case I want to go for a ride.

A camera. Oh you know -- to take pictures.

A chain saw.

Camping gear. For me.

Climbing gear. Just in case.

SwimWetsuit.

Shorts.

So I have these things. And a plan. The plan says jump in the truck and ferry up the passage, stop and photograph the white black bears in BC, go to Kenai and Sitka and Juneau, get out to the west coast of Alaska somewhere, drive to Anchorage, then go north to Prudhoe Bay, see the ANWR before it turns into Bakersfield, and go to the Brooks Range and climb see Denali, and visit the occasional friend and drive home through the Yukon Territory, and spend the entire summer doing it. And somehow manage a birding trip to the Aleutian Islands.

I want to see a puffin, a polar bear, a walrus, a brown bear, a dall sheep, a caribou, seals and whales. I am not so sure I want to see a wolf.

A little voice is telling me that this isn't going to happen right away. Another voice wonders, "Do I want some sort of boat?"

Alaska Vacation -- Round Island

You can get a permit that allows you to take, harass, or kill marine mammals, if you have a good enough reason. If you have a good enough reason -- you can take a walrus. And if you're big enough. But where?

I don't want to take any walrus, I just want to take their picture. This is not like taking a picture of a petroglyph (or the honeycombs behind the petroglyphs) in Carrizo Plain National Moneymint, where you get threatened with ticketing and or arrest if you suggest taking pictures of petroglyph rock (If I even see you here with a camera ..."), this is a walrus we're talking about. This is not some light love making.

This is serious. Under the Marine Mammal Protection Act, it is illegal to take, harrass or kill a marine mammal, specifically whales, dolphins, seals, polar bears and walrus. If you take a camera and approach a walrus close enough to get a good picture without a $5000 lens, you probably need a permit. If he feels harassed, you may need to be able to run. I don't think the Marine Mammal Protection Act actually says any thing about that. Quote: "You must be able to run like a ... 'If I even see you here with a camera,' says the walrus"

Go figure, aren't I a marine mammal, in need of protection? Doesn't the walrus need a permit to hassle me. No -- I have to take my chances.

Flight to Dillinger -- $1000
Fly to somewhere -- I am not sure where -- a point on Homer spit or a beach -- $400
Boat to Round Island $400
Hotels meals etc. -- $600
One week Camping, permits, fees, food, film, and ... did I mention food? ... $500

12 day trip to Round Island to photograph walrus -- $2900

Holy shit, Batman

Any one care to join me?