It's Just a Box of Ice Cream

I sure can identify with this.

Me: How big is the NY strip?
Her: 14 ounces.
Me: cool -- medium, with a baked potato, everything.
Her: Everything?
Me: yes, everything. Plus a salad with blue cheese.
Her: Do you want to start out with some wings?
Me: Yes.
Her: Do you need anything else?
Me: Water. What do you have for dessert? ...

Let's eat.

This Must be Looking a Bit Like a Training Blog

Date: 28 March 2006
Mileage: 10.71
Mileage for March: 299.77
Weather: God Beams, Breezy, and 72°F.
Average: 13.6

That's nearly 300 miles.

You Were Saying.

Really just straight away lifted from bikecentric. I stole it -- I admit it.

Don't get your shorts in a bunch if you missed the latest World Naked Bike Ride because the next one happens on June 12. Time to do sit ups! BTW, both those links include lycra, nudity, and behavioral anomolies.

The Salt River

Date: 27 March 2006
Mileage: 10.12
Mileage for March: 289.06

Ripped this little ride out right after spending about an hour looking for my sunglasses (I had planned a longer ride). I am remembering now what it's like to take a gnat in the eye. So I am glad it wasn't a June bug. Went the short five miles down to the Salt river and then back out via Kong, that hill which is allegedly hard. I inadvertantly reset my trip meter right after reading the mileage -- but I think it all went down in about 35 minutes. Which is over 16 miles an hour. It must be the shorts.

Maybe on Thursday I will take my camera. The Salt river looks something like this, which you can see is remarkable less beautiful than Annie's pictures of the same river from her comment on my post yesterday. What I can't figure out is why Annie always has a huge smile, before, during and after riding a bike. She must like it.

Abandoned Bicycles

Here.

This Guy's Pretty Good!

So -- ok -- I am checking the bird chick who claims her blog is about birds, when actually it is more about pet rabbits, which make me gag. Never mind that, while I was there I found an item of note. I have to share this with my usually happy hiking buddy, who is trying to learn to juggle. This guy Chris Bliss is very good.

I particularly like the two balls behind the back trick, and the behind the back cascade. But, honestly, do you think maybe this guy spent too much time hanging out at the "Day on the Green," or out with the guys that have dogs that chase the frisbees? I have to find that picture I took in Colorado Springs in 1977 back in the day, of the guy riding his bike with a large white shepherd on his back, same shepherd having his back paws in riders back pockets, and front legs wrapped around riders neck. I'll post it -- if I can find it -- and get a scanner that works ... Someday.

In all fairness to Chris Bliss, I am sure he trained hard to be a juggler this good. Cheers. There's an interview here which I haven't watched.

Just incidently, I have added a few of my friends to the blog -- and these guys can do some cool tricks too.

Hair of the Dog.

Date: 25 March 2006
Mileage: 19.89
Mileage for March: 278.94
Weather: Sunny 82°F.
Average: 14.1

Chainring Challenge -- It's an Uphill Thing.

Tunitas Creek Road photo stolen from here

Here's a description of part of my May ride in CA. The climb up King's Mountain Road is a major feature in this 120k ride and described in this document, along with what promises to be a good warm up ride. The additional and perhaps harder climb will be the climb up Tunitas Creek Road (from the beach -- one picture, here, shown above) to the exact same spot. Alledgedly, it's an average of 9% grade over some 3.6 miles. Perhaps, Alice's Restaurant has an internet connection and I'll be able to stop and post my progress and condition after both climbs. That would be fun. The link map also includes some of the other parts of the ride like stage road -- and this says "The very steepest parts of Tunitas Creek will make you wince if you've only got a 23-tooth cog though!," and the map clearly says there is three miles of it.

Since the new bike is not designed for wimps, only insane crazy people like myself, I'll be doing this without the benefit of alpine gearing. So there may be either heroic reports of feats of sheer physical brilliance, or tales that include the distances walked. So maybe I should bring a pedometer as well. Or do some hiking in my new biking shoes.

I know I am definitely bringing cab fare. But you may be able to find me in one of the local clubs (I'll be the one eating), and listening to Neil Young, who just happens to drop in to play live acoustic, because he knows I'm in the hood.

While I was shopping around for some good places to practice, ride, sweat, pee, show off, get off, stand on a soapbox, stump, I found this page describing some great road climbs that you can find in Arizona -- along with top times and grades, and tales of cycling heroism.

I may join these riders (not the record breakers, the bike shop breakfast eaters with Arlo on the Group W bench) the Thursday before the big ride -- as my last warm up run, but the in meantime, I'll be considering some weight training. I need to find someone to show me how to do that.

A recipe from paradise:

To one new bike, add one old victim, new shorts, pedals and shoes, thirty five miles in the saddle, several hills and one river valley. To the result add some pints of carbohydrate and protein liquid, 2 alleve, and 2 cod liver oil tabs. Then roll in Bengay™ and roast in sleeping bag overnight with the Pearly cat. Repeat.

Tomorrow is Sunday, and you know what they say about Sundays. I'll be stumping my shorts up to the Pearly Gates.

That Felt Pretty Good

Date: 25 March 2006
Mileage: 37.61
Mileage for March: 259.05
Weather: Sunny 82°F.
Average: 14.6

I should mention that I traded in my clips for some spd pedals. I haven't crashed -- thank God -- and find them ok. There's no leather, which bothers me, but they are ok. This ride included both climbs of Las Sendas Mountain and the back of Usery Pass, and the less than famous Power Road climb into the Salt river.

I also bought some Pearl Izumi attack shorts. I have an aversion to spandex, lycra, elastic, latex and people calling foam padding a chamois (In the day -- that was reserved for the skin of a goat kid). I am not entirely sure these shorts and I are going to get along. The elastic is leaving a ring around my thigh. Is that what the attack part meant, that they would attack me? Despite all of this the shorts did make it a bit easier in the saddle.

The tag on the "Attack Short" shows a picture of a Saguaro cactus next to the dryness indicator. Does that mean that they can absorb and hold several tons of water in a virtually moisture free environment? I hope not. Maybe, they are impenetrable by thorns. That would be wishful thinking.

They also have a padded seat like an easy chair. I hope I don't turn into a wimp.

I did see a blooming hedgehog cactus today in a well irrigated garden. It is just a small indicator that spring is indeed starting in the sonoran desert. More to come.

Some Humble Pie

Date: 24 March 2006
Mileage: 15.84
Mileage for March: 221.44
Weather: Sunny 80°F.
Average: 13.7

This was a ride filled with hill climbs, at least as I could find near the cafe of the beautiful people. On one particular climb I passed a young woman. About two minutes later she passed me and rode away from me like I was going backwards. Despite that, it appears I may have caught up with Jill, which of course would depend on whether she is actually on her bike this early in the Alaska day, or not,

This is not to take away from the kudos that Jill deserves, as she is riding a 33° slippery snowy mud slime with a cold, while I am riding on clean broken glass covered roads, in eighty degree sunny weather. It's no wonder I was able to catch her, unlike that grrrl on the hill today. Now that I have overtaken Jill -- it's on to catch ladyvelo.

I did ride for a bit today with a guy named Terry, and we made a few short hill climbs on Las Sendas Mountain. This was the first somewhat sweaty trip out so far this year, and I forgot to fill the water bottles. One hour, no water, 80 degrees. I have to think ahead better -- because in July that will be dangerous.

Half-Naked Thursday

Here's me in the Palm Colors. Enjoy.

Date: 23 March 2006
Mileage: 14.92
Mileage for March: 205.60
Weather: Sunny 80°F.
Average: 11.6

Today's ride included some climbing. Mostly on the higher ring. I like the new bike.

Cruising the Blogworld

So my training is going along ... and I am trying to get enough food in my body. During my travels lately, it seems that I am growing a huge preference for the meals that include large plates of rice. Potatoes take too long to eat. The Thai Corner Basil Beef -- The Shiskabob -- down the road a bit at Bellagio's. I am always hungry these days. Maybe I should try this suggestion by mistress julie from the dark side.

It appears (according to Jill) that I have gone over to the dark side; I am now on the dark side of the planet. This is really ok with me. Here in the Valley of the Sun it is better for the days to be shorter. Despite that, the weather is now promising to heat up, since winter is actually over. In fact the desert is starting to bloom. I think I saw the teddybear cholla's with buds in the valley here. Just 2 days after the rain. Today was perfectly like coastal California in the summer. 78 degrees. Sun shining. I am actually looking forward to the searing heat, and the delight of (the equivalent of) a great workout in the sauna. Vigorous hydration -- copius amounts of sweat -- total purification. I think I have definitely gone over to the dark side.

Gilby mentioned having a Deli boyfriend. She has a "The Boyfriend" Boyfriend too. I was thinking that there have been a lot of times that I have had a coffee shop girlfriend. I never knew what to call her. Now I do. I once went to a million szechuan lunches with a woman I worked with. Lunchtime girlfriend. The Barmaid when I was married (we never) -- illegal girlfriend. Late night coffee shop girlfriend turned into my ex wife ten years later. Girlfriend Girlfriend. Who knew? I never did. Now I do. Grocery store clerk girlfriend.

Internet girlfriend. Phone girlfriend, adventure girlfriend. Travel girlfriend. Ex girlfriend.

Coffee shop girlfriend took a break with me the other day. I think that might have been our first date. I hope she's not is reading this. Maybe she'll do that again tomorrow.

I should be cleaning my house.

An Explosion Out to the East

I was just reading this post by skibby and thinking how obnoxious people can be. Out in front of me to the east there is a stream of light going in a circle, up and down, accompanied by an ATV/motorcycle like roar. Now I live in paradise here. You all might not agree, but it 50 ish degrees out at 10 PM, the Sonoran desert all around me. Coyotes yipping. Serenity. Except right now. Buttwipe yahoo, riding in circles on his one acre strip of paradise.

There was a fairly large explosion noise off in that direction, and the ATV noise stopped. It is with guilty delight that I imagine what might have happened. I hope one of my serenity loving neighbors hasn't ... done anything drastic.

It's a Dry Rain

Date: 21 March 2006 P.M.
Mileage: 10.14
Mileage for March: 190.68
Weather: Dry Rain and 59°F.
Average: 15.2

A dry rain is when it rains and doesn't really wet the ground, and the ground might become leopard spotted with wet. You can still get pretty damp riding in it. Wearing the Palm Jersey and arm warmers and a couple of extra layers ( a grey running shirt over the top) helped a lot. Yes. Never mind about the arm warmers. I mean it, don't ask.

Cool Breezy Cruise

Date: 21 March 2006 A.M.
Mileage: 10.14
Mileage for March: 180.54
Weather: Scattered Sun and 51°F.
Average: 17.5

I don't know if you notice this, but my average is a tad higher than it was before the new bike. That's more like it. All I need to do is hold that pace for 500 miles and I'll be able to keep up with LadyVelo, and some of the other Hell Weekers. We'll see if I can hold that pace on the way home too.

When You're in Hell, Do as the Hellians Do.

One of the serious troubles here in Hell, is just how hot it gets in the summer, One doesn't really want to plan a century ride on the fourth of July unless one can manage to arrange for a hydration IV and portable on the bike air conditioner. This is not to suggest that it can't be done, but could I please have/get someone else to carry all the water I will need.

Last year on the 2nd of July, my normally happy riding buddy and I did an eleven mile hike. Our first hike together ever, methinks, during which I swear, he was trying to kill me. Honestly, something, exhaustion, heat, falling on my a**, was killing me; let's just say it was memorable, and I never had the pleasure of waiting for him. He wasn't responsible, however. We started at 6:00 AM. It is normal to start anything here in Hell at or before dawn, also known as dark o'clock, which is just unGodly freaking early in AZ. It might be better to start right after dark, the ground is usually too hot to walk on for several hours after dark. By the time we had finished this hike it was 4 liters of liquid and 5 hours later and 109 °F.

Since I missed the Santa Fe Century ride on May 21 -- due to scheduling the Palm Ride for the Cure in CA, and since no one in this entire valley does any exercise in the summer, I'll be trying to ride my century Apr 08, 2006, during the Desert Classic, which starts and ends at a pizza joint in Glendale, meaning 2 things; some of the trip will be flat, and there will be food, and I won't be ready. Some of the trip may be very hilly too, which I am sure I deserve, since I signed up for a hell hilly for many miles hilly ride in a few months and then bought a very tall set of gears.

Since I know that the century is indeed too early in my training -- I signed up for one of the century or metric, and I will do whichever I feel like based on the training plan and map. One thing I don't want to do is come home in a cab.

Palm is going to give me my first piece of riding specific clothing ever. You must be wondering what kind of pedals I have on that bike -- if I don't have any riding clothing. I rode my Centurion enough so that I ripped the bottom bracket out of the frame -- and I never had any riding shoes or shorts. I did have toe clips, which is what I currently have on the Ferrari (the new bike has a name!). This morning when I was over at the cafe of the beautiful people, the cute coffee mommy asked me, "What are you doing?"

"I am going for a ride", says I.

"On your motorcycle?" Everyone here in Hell has a powered something or other or a desert destroyer vehicle.

"No on my bicycle, 20 miles."

"Wow, that's a long way, are you going to wear all those clothes?," she says, pointing outside where all the gayly dressed roadracers will all sit later. "And be a dork?," I add to the sentence in my head.

"No, that shit is really expensive." I don't want to spend like that just now, is what I am thinking.

So, what do you do with a leg warmer when you remove it? Where do you put it? I am not getting this quite yet. Do I need padded shorts? You put chamois butt'r -- where? Does the stuff (not the chamois butt'r -- the clothes) have to be so gayly colored? Can I get in grey? I want to wear the little CSU Hayward pioneer T in grey -- some cheap REI shorts -- shoes that don't have wheels on them or any lights, a pair of socks, and an off-white coffee stained oxford shirt with cab fare in the pocket. I think I need to be the art student sitting in the back row on the desk again; can I stay an outlaw here?

I have a huge amount of resistance to the riding specific clothing. Have you noticed?

It is About the Bike

Date: 19 March 2006
Mileage: 19.55
Mileage for March: 170.40
Weather: Cloudy and 55°F.
Average: 12

Today's ride was much nicer. I know, I know, "It's not about the bike", but today's ride was all about the bike. My usually happy riding buddy remarked on several occasions (from behind me) how easy I made it look as I was effortlessly pulling away from him. "Ferrari", was one word he used. The effect of reduced drag, light weightedness, and an all together smoothly smooth ride, was more than clear. I have never been able to wait for him before today. Although the average isn't much higher than previous rides, I definitely enjoyed the ride a lot more. I felt like I could adjust my pace, have conversations, and just generally felt more road worthy, which is much more delightful than to constantly hump just to keep up.

Today's ride was two hours, which was the perfect way to start a Sunday, At the finish it was just trying to rain and about 55 degrees. Chilly and threatening toward the end of the ride.

New Bike Day for Me

My Uncle Ralph passed away recently. I could wax along and remind everyone of all the classic Ralphism's, like, "Anyone that would eat this, would eat woodpecker eggs," or talk about how he put olives in his beer, but the purpose of this post is not to eulogize Ralph. It's to talk about the bike he just bought me. You see Ralph always bought us the greatest baseball glove, bat, pigskin football, skateboard, whatever the new snowboard of the day was. He bought it for us. Well he just bought me a new bike.

All the road folks riding in Hell Week and racking up hundreds of miles each,

EclectChick
LadyVelo
The S.S. Blog
Recreational Reading
UltraRob

and one or two of my friends at work have inspired me to buy a new bike, and of course Gilby, with her new bike. I have never had a new bike in my life. Not only is this bike new -- it is very light. I want to ride it around the gravel velo, but gosh, it's a road bike. They have inspired me to buy a road bike.

For those that don't recognize this bike, it's a Marin San Marino vintage 2004. It weighs somewhere near 20 lbs. It is well outfitted with some Shimano ultegra gear, on a steel and Carbon frame. 9 cog 12-24 rear cassette, and 53,39 chainwheels, has aluminum rims and high pressure, slickery smooth clinchers.

I may need to practice my hill climbing a bit, but the near 20 lb weight should eliminate some of the demand. I may have to stop jumping curbs too!

"I licked it so now it's mine!"

The Training Plan

Ok -- the 120K ride is May 21 -- that's 78 miles of California's finest coastal hills. It's promising to be a bitch -- I think I need to head my rides toward the rim of the grand canyon -- so I can get some altitude into them. Wes (my last boss) suggested that I ride to Payson and back. -- No Effing way-- that's like seventy miles one way -- uphill in a big way ... but he makes a good point. That's more than I ever signed up for, but I need some real hill in my practice run. The ride's about 8 weeks away. So here's the plan: build a base out of two rides a day at 9.5 workday miles (each) and increase my normal Sunday ride until it reaches 50 at least. and try to ride 16-25 on Thursday afternoon. Ramp the Sunday rides at about 5 miles a week to acheive 55 in six weeks -- then roll back the base to about 50 miles a week and rest up for the ride. Then go like hell on race ride day.

Develop a food strategy -- and stay hydrated.

The Elder Brother suggested practice tires.

So, what do you think of my plan?